Nov 2nd dream
The dream is played in an amusement park with information on Dinosaurs it's called Dinoland here. But apparently, they had a department for Elpis
I was watching back scenes (on a phone) from an event where every voice actor dressed up as their characters. And I apparently was there when that happened. I re-watched a scene where Venat (cosplayed voice actor) said something very emotional to me and I cried again when rewatching. Then I saw a scene of Alphinaud and Alisaie, (who were 100% accurate in appearance ).
then I decided to search for the real Venat by using an artificial elpis flower to get to the past (that one from SE but it was very flexible somehow, so really artificial deco flowers). But I got lost somewhere suddenly across some country road. But some kids could tell me where she was and which way I needed to go.
When I finally arrived at the destination location I was with other people. And I said: we can go back to that location with this Elpis flower, we can open a portal to the real Elpis. and talk to Venat.
But I was constantly interrupted by people. Like my ex doing annoying shit so I can't focus and can't check where I can open the portal. it was so shitty, I got interrupted several times like I wasn't allowed to travel to the past. Unfortunately, I woke up after too much annoyance.
Me: we can with this Elpis flower, go back to the location and open up a portal to the real Elpis. And then we can talk to Venat.
But I was constantly interrupted by people, like my ex who was annoying, so I couldn't focus. And couldn't check where I could open the portal, it was so frustrating. I was interrupted multiple times if it were like I wasn't allowed to do that. And eventually, I woke up.
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Nov 3rd
Agne is a classmate from our spiritual mentorship program by Triona Sheeran, Agne is channelling Venat here. Transcribed from a recorded Zoom video.
Agne: I see the woman who was explaining something or wanting to tell you something actually, maybe teaching. I’m not sure if it is my imagination or not
Me: Just tell, Could have got my guide because I know that's a female so go on.
Agne: okay I'll say what I see I won't judge what I see. just blonde or grey hair quite long and she's leaning towards you and doing this like telling you something (pointing her finger at me waving up and down) and I feel it's for you I don't know then maybe she has these you know highlights but they're bizarre sort of highlights like just like elfish kind of
Me: I guess that's my guide and she just answered yes.
(though it wasn’t linala who answered "yes" at that point, but I didn't know until months later that it was Venat herself who replied lol)
Agne: thank you, something but about what like she like a teacher you know she's not cursing you but about some kind of mistake that you made or something lately like she's kind of doing this to you can resonate
Me: Oh what is it then?
Agne: I don't know
Me: I'm not aware of what I did wrong
Agne: maybe not wrong but something. don't know she looks a bit like you so I don't know if it's your guide or someone else, but it doesn't let me think of what.
(focusing)
I just gained an image that, she was with you since you were little, like this little (showed baby size with her hands)and I see her like, a grown woman and she's always like leaning towards you.
Me: well that's not my recent guide because I got a connection with her like three years ago but if that one is already there, I have a suspicion, but may sound very awkward if I sent a game character picture to you but the game is a for 80% Right of what happened on my home planet and the characters do look alike what they really did let's see if I can find a picture
(pic of Venat Added in the chat of zoom)
I believe you can click on the picture, yes.
Agne: something like that yeah. that is what I saw.
Me: oh for real, my god. because she was, well the real version of her that is/was also my mother in ancient life on my home planet. So yeah, I find it very soothing to know that she watched over me since I was small already so I didn't expect that to be honest.
Agne: The word “mother” came to me because when I saw you like this she also kind of held you, yeah.
Me: she was my mother in a past life more than 12,000 years ago amazing I didn't think to receive such info. Can you tell me more about her I'm curious
Agne: It’s still like, showing me now that she's leaning towards you and she's like one thing he could tell you something like and she shows a bit like this.
(that finger movement again)
It’s something like teaching coming to you I come here if I can I don't know what to say, I can’t hear, I can’t understand what she is saying
Me: That is possible, I mean we spoke like Ancient language you cannot translate that to English so. It’s like multiple languages in one to explain it bluntly
Agne: I have a sense of something the message will come to you maybe in the coming in coming days or something like that but it will be from her.
Me: OH! I'm looking forward to it looking forward to that
Agne: yeah but she's been there with you for quite a while and she watched over you and she was bigger you know she's like enveloped you now, I sense some protection and care. but she's also, like when she should be really, finding your way in life to really be independent. That’s all I can get.
Me: Thank you wonderful I never expected to have someone in these sessions would pick up my ancient mom sorta say because she isn't a very um, as far as I know not very connected to all another only particular people and is… I'm not sure if she's very strong at the moment because she has quite a history but yeah, I'm happy with these little details so let's get an extra confirmation she was my mother so that's beautiful.
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Nov 4th
Bonding anniversary.
I didn’t really write something down for that day it seems. Just doing causal stuff, ate the cake, the one in this pic, he chose those flavours and he body joined to taste them. and further being lovely together.
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Nov 5th
At some point, before he could talk through me, I saw hieroglyphs for a very short moment.
Me: my body, aside from my epilepsy… is ill
Here I had some mumbling I couldn’t make up exactly what until
Me: who is talking? Eli?
Eli: no, your higher self.
Me: oh, right
Eli: wait for the questions, until you are more aware
Me: ok
Eli: and then you can grab your phone
Me: yeah, yeah, yeah. What shall I do eli?
Eli: your higherself knows best, listen to her.
Me: ok
A few minutes later
Me: I love you
Eli: love you too.
Me: I feel you.
Eli: confirming hum
Me: Zodiark shards
Eli: yes, in the moon
Me: of the remaining shards?
Eli: yes
Me: Venat is sundered?
Eli: No, absolutely not. That’s just what they made of it.
Me: really?
Eli: yeah, to end the story. To not give anyone hope that she will come back into the story.
Me: ah ofcourse, but they said she was sundered for the story.
Eli: yeah it’s a little bit contradictory because everything implies that she didn't really. like how it is for real.
Me: right…………….something is not correct about the shards of Venat….. what you say is incorrect.
Eli: no…she is Unsundered, like us.
Me: us?
Eli: the unsundered
Me: body, ill, my body is ill.
Eli: I know you said that.
Me: not so severe, but it’s hindering my health
Eli: yes, yes it does.
Me: aya (Ayantano higherself)
Aya: yes
Me: how is mom?
Aya: yes.
Me: did she, like, watch over my existence here on Earth?
Aya: not that long. She came later, this life particularly.
Me: really?
Aya: yes.
Me: how?
Aya: she knew, something was going to happen. So she despite her state (of being exhausted Hydaelyn), watched over you.
Me: even before she got defeated?
Aya: yes
Me: is? Eli?
Eli: no I can’t say anything about this, sorry. Keep chatting with your higherself.
Me: what do you know more, that you haven’t told me?
Aya: a lot
Me: do you have memories of Amaurot?
Aya: not much, slight glimpses. As you know I got sundered too, and my memories are erased also.
Me: could you give me anything you remember in a dream?
Aya: Thank you for asking.
Me: pls do it, I don’t care, any memory of Amaurot pls.
Aya: I will.
Me: I miss memories T-T, I want to remember, I want to remember. T-T
after some crying
Me: what do you know more, about my mom? Is it true what Agne said?
Aya: yes
Me: what was she trying to tell me?
Aya: I cannot say yet. You will know soon.
Me: but you know it already.
Aya: yeah, I am sorry.
Me: how did she get here in the first place? Did she like, follow Lahabrea when he first came here?
Aya: she was curious yes.
Me: but then she didn’t send off my soul (to earth)
Aya: no she didn’t
Me: ok, so she didn’t send me off, with the idea to…..(learn certain things etc)
Aya: no.
Me: did she know I went to Earth after the sundering?
Aya: I don't know actually. I was already drifting away toward other planets, in this case, Earth. as I was not fully consciously aware of what she did. But she didn’t send us off. That’s all I know.
Eli: do you want to talk with me?
Me: maybe…. Yes.
(some chatting with Aya first about the annoyance of my bladder and ear clicking/popping,)
Me: Can I talk to mom?
Aya: yes, let me get her…………No
Me: she can’t?
Aya: later, she will come later today.
Me: ok…but she didn’t….
Aya: no, it’s not the right state you are in.
Eli: wait, I am not certain if I want it.
Me: Eliiiiiiiii
Eli: Sorry.
Me: you have to, she will forgive you T-T.
Eli: (getting emotional) Are you certain?
Me: yes, Eli I love you.
Eli: I love you too honey, Thank you.
Me: are you ok with it, if she comes later?
Eli: I will try to behave myself
Me: behave yourself?
Eli: yeah, to not let my emotions run away.
Me: you know I will, (the rest I couldn’t make out what I said, crying….)
Eli: I am sorry.
Me: you said you were unburdened by regret
Eli: I am. But ashamed toward our mom.
Me: why? T-T
Eli: I don’t know, something I need to get rid of, I know.
Me: then talk to her.
Eli: I suppose
Me: yes, you should do that.
Eli: not now.
Me: T-T
Eli: no, not now, ……someday, soon.
Me: what is soon?
Eli: a year or two. A year yeah.
Me: that long?
Eli: I need to, sorry. But thank you.
Me: can I leave a message to her from you?
Eli: yes, tell her I am sorry. T-T
Me: you’re sorry, ok.
Eli: sorry, I just can’t say it myself. I just can’t
Me: ok I will do that.
Eli: thank you
Me: you are crying too.
Eli: not completely but yes I am sad. I’m so sorry
Me: pls stop the sadness honey,
Eli: sorry I got caught up in the moment. deep sigh to relax sorry.
Me: It's ok, ahhh Thank you. …………………How is…being like you?
Eli: huh?
Me: unsundered
Eli: owh, lonely sometimes.
Me: but you have the Convocation.
Eli: yes. I know. But there are always things that only Lahabrea and Emet-selch understand.
Me: right
Eli: the sundered are like you with their memories. despite the crystals that are still secondhand of who we once were.
Me: ahhh T-T
Eli: yeah, the kind of things that we cannot talk about with them on personal matters.
Me: are you talking about your feelings about the other 2?
Eli: hmmmmpf no. we aren’t each other’s therapist ya know.
Me: laughs
Eli: I mean we can but, we have other things to do.
Me: I love you.
Eli: I love you too.
Me: do you want to discuss it with me? I can try to understand.
Eli: yes. Maybe Emet-selch has better memory,
Me: no I don’t want to talk to him right now.
Eli: ok
Me: I feel he will also be annoyed if I would
Eli: probably.
Me: how is he like really?
Eli: hehe, not far off of the game though, he is a bit more gentle, more willing to help others, but easily annoyed. But he is like your dad. Saying “nehh I can’t do it” and then helps anyway.
Me: laughing owww that’s so funny. I already thought he was like that. I was like “wait a second are they not the same?”
Eli: yeah he is yes. Especially an Azem pleaser.
Me: hehehehe, yeah XD, also with me?
Eli: no not that much, but his love interest yes. He is a big pleaser.
Me: and you took that from him don’t you?
Eli: OH, how dare you! XD
Me: laughing sorry, but you are kind of a pleaser too sometimes.
Eli: owh do you want that differently?
Me: no, no. Just make sure you always tell the truth to me.
Eli: yes.
…………….
Me: Ultima
Eli: too complicated for your mind at the moment. Try it for later.
Me: ok
Me: am I still azem?
Eli: yes
Me: I don’t; understand how Venat came here. Something is not correct I think.
Eli: well I know only of the assumption she got curious. I mean I didn’t track her down or anything. Maybe that’s something Lahabrea can tell.
Me: right
Eli: but you know she has been here.
Me: yes
Eli: from your higherself. I didn’t notice though, she is keeping herself very distantly, it wasn't until EW that I noticed. she searched for a connection with you more intensely.
Me: yeah I noticed, I love you.
Eli: I know, I love you too. And Mom does too.
Me: that coming from you?
Eli: yeah. I felt something forwarded to you.
Me: getting emotional
Eli: was I right?
Me: yes J you were right
Me: are others here?
Eli: no, aside Linala ofcourse, and maybe later Mum.
Me: you do seem to be more open to speak about it.
Eli: yeah, but my overall feelings just don’t. (brooding*)
Me: ok pls stop it, you are making me sad again.
Eli: Sorry
Me: you knew she was watching you.
Eli: yes, later not directly
Me: Was she like "sssttttt”
Eli: not exactly she just didn't say anything, maybe because I was watching over you as well.
Me: does she feel distant?
Eli: from me yes. I know she wants to, but I can't, I just can't, takes time honey. I am sorry.
Me: (crying)
Eli: Sorry
Me: I don’t want you to be sad. I want you to be happy.
Eli: I am so sorry honey.
Me: can’t you let it go?
Eli: later
Me: how are our children doing?
Eli: fine.
Me: When will I see them?
Eli: I can’t tell.
Me: I want to speak with them.
Eli: not in this state honey.
Me: why?
Eli: you’re too tired, I am the easiest to connect with you now.
(some sad moments and mainly thoughts from Eli that I picked up and started crying again so I didn’t hear much)
Eli: I told you I am unburdened by regret, for things in the past, not as Ascian.
Me: you said Ascian too
Eli: partly, not always, tried to deny them (or something like that) sorry
Me: pls put me in a happy mood
Eli: ok.
Me: tell me about funny things that you remember. From pre-sundering.
Eli: defector Azem.
Me: it was a woman right?
Eli: yes, no I did not have any crush on her.
Me: laughs (he picked up my thoughts)
Eli: she was a good friend yes.
I had a random thought if he had any insecurity in the past in ancient times.
Eli: no, I didn’t have any insecurities at that time. No one really had at that time. we present as our true selves so we weren’t insecure to begin with.
Me: right, that’s beautiful.
Eli: I know. For these comparable times, yes it is beautiful. See how all these insecure people on this planet are remarkably depressing. That's why I try not to interfere much. I know this can’t be compared with Etheirys. But it’s…. Earth is depressing.
Me: I agree.
Eli: I don’t understand what people want to learn here, I would like….”no thank you i will go to my own home planet to learn things”
Me: Hahaha, that coming from you.
Eli: yeah I know. But yeah it occurred to me a lot. I will connect to those who are interested but that’s all. I am not gonna deal with any personal matter on them, except for you.
Me: hmmmm Thank you……………is that why you are so stoic to others?
Eli: yes.
Me: hmmmm I thought so.
Eli: yeah you already knew. But yeah now you have a better story.
Me: yeah…………..how is Etheirys?
Eli: better
Me: no more primals?
Eli: no
Me: what about dawntrial?
Eli: that's not a primal, just strong beasts, and dragons, but no primal anymore.
Me: hmmm are you happy about that?
Eli: …….yes, in the end, yes. It’s better this way. They had no use anymore after Zodiark was defeated. Beast tribes are still, ya know, doing whatever they want but they are not being used anymore to create havoc as you have seen with the spaceship, They are willing to use their aether for better measures, which I am happy to see that they will. Because there is still the? entities (couldn’t make out the word), that’s good. Etheirys is good atm.
Me: hmmmmm thank you.
Eli: no problem
Me: tell more about…. How we met.
Eli: your higherself?
Me: yes
Eli: I was first introduced by Emet, then I came to know about your higherself, and yeah we bonded early on. or let's say, we re-established our bond. But she insisted on connecting with you. despite you having a crush on Emet at that time. So that left me a bit heartbroken.
Me: awwwwwww
Eli: sorry, but I was persistent
Me: thank you for doing that. So how did you, when decided to bond on Nov 4th?
Eli: there wasn’t a particular date. But I just couldn’t hold myself anymore. I had grown so attached to you, that I just had to make love to you.
Me: oh my god XD, is then my higherself with me?
Eli: yes, when we have sex absolutely, with the both of you.
Me: giggles
Eli: actually it’s just 1, but for your understanding the both of you.
Me: hmhm, ……was Lahabrea really tanned?
Eli: yes, a darker tan, but not THAT dark
Me: and Eric?
Eli: same
Me: he was re-incarnated?
Eli: yes, you know as Claudien.
Some short subjects about Venat but couldn’t really understand what was being said.
Here I had a chat with my HS about what to do with my health, need to cut sugar from my diet. Alas, the penny didn't drop until March on how to do that. Intermittent fasting for 18h atm and losing weight slowly. But yeah I gained weight first in December >.<
Also, she said I was still free of cancer, including where I still needed to test for. (the result in Feb was indeed negative)
I asked for a body scan, and I will get treated for my insomnia, which indeed happened in December as a sleep trial (still going on btw but I need to kick off melatonin). I still need to go to the dentist today she said I have beginning caries. And Triona said that later as well in 2024. My throat is better I have learned to speak. And I will get joint problems with heavy pain in about 5/6 years if I don't lose weight. Some lower back problems. And I need to eat less meat. Normally I eat it as lunch as well. And I need to stop that. Meat only for dinner is enough she recommended bavette steak. Atm (bavette)steak and eggs for dinner during the week.
Further, I shouldn't take too many supplements at the same time, my heart can't take it.
The liver is overworked but still working well, with no problems.
Gallbladder, I got ridd of most gallstones
Eli was also listening to all the info given so he could help me too.
My kidneys can cause issues in the future, but if I drink enough they will be fine. (I tend to drink way too little on a day) she recommended more water, not just apple juice for my gallbladder. I can lessen the apple juice. 1 mug (300ml) a day is enough. 4h after my sandwich, (so technically before dinner atm. Which I am already doing by now)
Me: what is that unconditional love people say with God. is it bigger than what I feel with Elidibus?
Aya: yes, it is. but you are used to it to feel it that way. So he doesn’t make you feel more than that. Because your physical body cannot handle it.
Me: wow, I thought it was the same.
Aya: no it’s not the same, it’s more, clearly more. But your physical body cannot comprehend it I think. I won't allow it as well. Every love Elidibus gives us is more than enough for you.
Me: Ty…… is Venat here?
Aya: almost
So I asked my HS about astral projection/travel and if she could lift a veil. But she can't only God can. However, I need to set my intention to be able to astral travel/etc and I will learn with Triona. Well doing a follow-up channelling course atm. We will see if another one piques my interest to continue studying, there aren't the cheapest ya know :P
She does receive the info from the creator/God it will happen soon. But that “soon” can be well a year or 2……
I asked if God is really male. She explained he has masculine energy so stated male for my understanding.
Me: how is that with Elidibus? giggles
Aya: absolutely male. J giggles
Me: are watching over our kids too?
Aya: yes, daily.
Me: I want to have memories, to see them grow and learn.
Aya: you will when you die. You will remember everything I see.
Me: ugh I wanted to write it down.
Aya: maybe someday, yes in a few years, I will release information for you.
Me: that’s so long.
Aya: for me, it's like a blink of an eye. But yeah.
Me: I see
3H58 (note for myself that stays to check upon later)
So for like 6 minutes, we spoke about other personal stuff, about my son etc, and that I haven't slept 10 hours straight since I was 19 O-0 and that amount I need to heal properly O-0. And some other stuff.
Me: is Venat coming today?
Aya: yes, later
Me: how much later?
Aya: at 4pm (4uur in NL)
Me: why is it a set time though?
Aya: so you will be in the right state of mind.
Me: I am a little anxious to talk to her
Eli: humpf tell me about it. I gonna see her, and I don’t know how to….
Me: sorry, you have to deal with that.
Eli: no, no, no I will not be in your way.
Me: I feel you’re hurt, seriously…. I felt it in my heart. Are you afraid of being judged by her?
Eli: partly.
Me: she won't. I know she won’t
Eli: did you?
Me: no she won't. it had to be that. To inform the story, legacy (something). Everything has meaning she said.
Eli: true, yes
Me: Are you still unburdened by regret?
Eli: deep sigh I guess
Me: and I mean also our mum. T-T
Eli: thank you, that’s why you are my wife. To help me with this. you’re doing well. Thank you.
Me: will you if you can see her in the distance, if she asks or I to come closer would you do so?
Eli: yes I will. Especially you.
Me: sniffs ok thank you (started crying), I want to be a family again.
Eli: I am sorry honey. I didn’t realize you saw it that way.
Me: I didn’t realize it myself until now. Her pull is strong.
Eli: I know.
Me: but I cannot reach her myself. Which I don’t understand.
Eli: she closes off, she is very careful.
Me: why???????
Eli: all has meaning
Me: you know her intentions?
Eli: slightly, you are not ready to fully connect with her.
Me: you didn’t allow it did you…….
Eli:……………………..I did interfere a bit with that. I am sorry. It was my own (fear/emotions), but you were stronger to overcome (his restriction). the desire to connect with her was stronger than I could withhold.
Me: why did you want me ?.... (to prevent connection)
Eli: I was afraid for myself. But I have to face this, I know.
Me: I cannot imagine it took you 29 Earth years to do so.
Eli: umpfff if you think about it, yeah, that's for you long. But being in other dimensions it's really nothing. It's like for you may be a day max to deal with stuff
Me: ohw
Eli: maybe even a few hours.
Me: so it’s still very fresh to you?
Eli: yes. Like it happened, theoretically wise, for your meaning like yesterday that Zodiark and Hydaenlyn got defeated.
Me: I understand
Eli: even though it’s not true, I know. But that’s how it feels, feels like it happened yesterday. So fresh it is.
Me: ohw I see. Are you traumatized?
Eli: no, but there is something I need to get rid of yes. It’s not trauma. I have my own issues as well.
Me: I see.
Eli: I already learned a lot. And let go of other things, while being with you. which for I am very grateful.
Me: mmmmmm
Eli: yes she has come.
(I check time)
Eli: not yet, but she is coming, underway.
Me: can’t she just teleport?
Eli: Teleporting requires a lot of energy. She will be on her way. Travelling with light speed, take a moment.
Me: but that would…… faster than light speed?
Eli: yes, but not teleport. That requires a lot more. In about 10 minutes. It doesn’t matter if you pick her up later. She will be there.
Me: you know?
Eli: yeah I will know
Me: do you have anything to tell in the meantime? Ultima maybe.
Eli: it’s better to let that rest honey. there are no incarnations of him at least. Not on Earth at the very least, IF he still exists in some way
Me: was Clive the WoL of the 2nd Shard?
Eli: yeah.
Me: Joshua was a shard?
Eli: Absolutely, from you yes.
Me: so Clive or Clide was it?
Eli: Clive
Me: Did he kill Ultima?
Eli: to my understanding, yes. But particles of the spirit can also remain in the astral. I am uncertain because it was long ago. Like, I did not care to track down if there were remains, the rejoining happened already, so that was not important (remains of Ultima).
Me: but you said, there are no incarnations here on Earth of him.
Eli: no, that I am very certain. They are elsewhere, IF, IF
Me: yeah, they are not here.
Eli: I know.
Me: not in the solar system either. No interest in Earth at all.
Eli: yeah. But, what I said, was that I was not certain if he was fully destroyed, because I did not care at all. I cannot say. Rejoining happened.
Me: before or after his defeat?
Eli: During
Me: oh
Eli: the defeat of him caused the rejoining. after that, I did not care. what happened with him.
(i.o.w, during the battle the rejoining started, and fully happened when he was defeated)
Me: someone who created him?
Eli: yes.
Me: by any of you?
Eli: Long ago, already. Lahabrea, got it a little bit to his head with his ex-wife, Ultima – the heart of Sabik stone.
Me: oh god.
Eli, yeah but at that time I agreed and yeah. But um, emotions speaking now, of it’s is just the reflection of what I remember. And regret it a bit. Can I speak with her? (Venat he meant I think) Judging but sad emotion. I guess it all had to happen.
Me: who created Ultima? You said Pashtarot once.
Eli: he helped, did not create it.
Me: was it already an entity?
Eli: yes, and it got stronger with the heart of Sabik. Work of Lahabrea. But then it got its own programming, despite we got our results with the rejoining. the havoc it created like running the land dry, was not our intention. deep sigh we only wanted to rejoin the shards, but not to let it rot. He got too much of his own input. Compare it to a robot that has knowledge of how to fight against the program, you can compare it with that, then fight against you instead.
Me: ohwww, the defeat caused the rejoining so,
Eli: yeah, we were happy he got actually defeated with the rejoining as a result. Satisfied, actual happiness we haven’t experienced in that era. That’s satisfaction, yes.
Me: and secretly Ultima was defeated?
Eli: yeah, on that shard at least, and Etheirys (source) partly, for different things, Ultima weapon, Athena that got crazy, yeah. It does roam the solar system, that's where the heart of Sabik comes from.
Me: is it Alien, like you said?
Eli: yes
Me: different solar system (then Etheirys)?
Eli: no, at the edge I think, at the edge of the solar system.
Me: metieon?
Eli: no that’s farther away, the edge of the solar system. There is a planet where it came from.
Me: your solar system?
Eli: yes, Etheirys
Me: Mom is here……….. almost
(checks time is exactly 4pm)
Eli: yes she is close very close.
Me: I want you to be fully unburdened by regret (sad voice)
Eli: stuttered thank you.
Me: I want to connect with Joshua
Eli: Aidenin?
Me: yes
Eli: we can, I think.
Me: Ayan?
Aya: yeah, yes I can arrange that.
Me: hmmm pls do.
Eli: Mom has arrived.
Me: oh god. (check time) yes, 10 past 4. Mom? Pls?
Venat: I am sorry
I started crying here for a bit, because of the tension between Eli and Mom.
Venat: hmmm?
Me: eli said he was sorry.
Venat: it’s ok. It all had to happen. Don’t worry. I forgive him.
Eli: thank you. T-T
Me: pls hug each other
Inaudible part.
Me: you’re ashamed
Eli: yeah
Venat: I cannot force him. It’s better to let it rest honey. He will come when he is ready.
Me: sobbing I have a question. Why is the speculation you send me off to earth instead?
Venat: no I did not.
Me: but you tracked me down?
Venat: later, yes
Me: how? How did you find me?
Venat: I was curious about what happened to my children. Many of them have already incarnated on Etheirys and, I never saw you back at some point. So I wanted to look out, a part of me travelled the expanse and I found you on Earth.
Me: what about Lahabrea?
Venat: he was already there, earlier than you were born. When I found you. I told you things before you incarnated, that you will remember later.
Me: huh? Aren’t you going to tell me?
Venat: you already know. I think. you are my child, you have traits of me very clearly. You kept it through all your journeys on Earth.
Me: did you create my soul? (referring to like what I did with Eli created Quilitus)
Venat: no, I did not. I wish I could, I wish it was.
Me: why wasn’t I able to reach you the past few days?
Venat: since I know you were there since birth, I already knew you would talk to me in this way (she meant this trip), so I blocked it off.
Me: no, why?
Venat: I didn't let you hear that I heard you with the (inaudible). but I could not interact
Me: are you really there?
Venat: yes
Me: did you speak through Agne?
Venat: yes I did, she was lucky to receive me, others did not respond,
Me: can she channel you more often?
Venat: she can if I have something to say, yes.
Me: do you have more things to say so you want to tell her through her.
Venat: yeah a few, yes.
Me: this week?
Venat: later, you have each other on WhatsApp already.
Me: you know about WhatsApp?
Venat: I already knew that yes. As I kept watching over you for a while I know the technology of earth a lot.
Me: I see. how is the theory that you are still weak?
Venat: not as much as you think, that was your own thinking. but not as much anymore
Eli: that’s good to hear. I didn’t know anything else then that you were still weak.
(omg the voice tone difference when he speaks damnnnn)
Venat: no it’s better now ty Elidibus. maybe a lot better in the past few years.
Eli: because of the game?
Venat: I think yes. Yes maybe, I haven’t tracked the energies that flowed to me where it came from. But when I think of it, yes it's from Earth.
Eli: that’s at least good to know.
Me: Mom?
Venat: yeah?
Me: what is Elidibus’s real name?
Venat: laughs you will learn when you die. It’s a secret.
Me: neh he said because of the meaning ….shizzle.
Venat: yes
Eli: yes it’s not to be known our real names.
Me: is your name different from Venat too?
Venat: similar
Me: and it means “to hunt”?
Venat: no it’s a different meaning than that
Little pause
Me: so are you 2 gonna talk things out
Eli: uh humpf…….
Venat: let him honey. Let him.
Me: omg I am not sure if I can handle both of your emotions. Pls say to each other that you are sorry (whispered screaming)
Eli:!!! I am sorry Mom
Venat: it’s ok honey.
Eli cries heavily
Me: Is it me or is Elidibus crying?
Eli: (inaudible)
Me: nooo
Eli: I needed this, thank you. I feel better
Me: good, so you are unburdened by regret now?
Eli: yes thank you. good job honey, Ayane
Me: is that really my nickname?
Venat: Ayantano is your name, yes, I gave that one to you. because I was Azem at that time already. I wanted to give your name a meaning as what I was entitled for, as Azem. I wanted that in a name to you. and you figured it out splendidly even with language differences you managed to find out the exact meaning.
Me: eternal travelling shepherd.
Venat: yes, well done. Do you have more to ask?
Me: yes a lot
(Venat laughs)
Me: but I need to think of it a bit.
Venat: take your time
Me: so you were not sundered?
Venat: no.
Me: I feel so content with this trip it's insane
(Venat giggles)
Me: but my higherself at that time already existed. (referring to the name)
Venat: but you were incarnated as your higherself, and your higherself decided to keep that name forever.
Me: ohhh, what is my higherself original name?
Venat: she discarded that
Me: Aw haha, seriously?
Venat: yes XD Also the name if originally given the first time you incarnate but she was more bonded to me and you as Ayantano, so she took that as her name forever.
Me: what about Quilitus though?
Venat: that was a given name by Elidibus.
Eli: yes, brave little warrior
Me: how are they?
Eli: our kids?
Me: yes
Eli: Good
Me: it’s so odd that you 2 a speaking to each other through me.
Venat: you wanted that
Me: yes true…. What about Ultima
Venat: no, I cannot tell you about anything, you already know. Elidibus told you everything that's enough.
Me: you do know more, a bit.
Venat: but it’s not any of importance
Me: hmmm ok. More on or after rejoining I will say……. with Athena?
Venat: yes……mostly…. No, forget about it. Not your business, you do not need to deal with that any longer.
Me: not any longer? Was it my thing then?
Venat: Azem thing
Me: you talking bullshit now Mom.
Venat: mine (her as azem)
Me: oh your…
Venat: I couldn’t stop it from happening
Me: what has that to do with azem?
Venat: well yeah warrior of light (inaudible) in that regards an Azem thing
Me: what did I have to do with that?
Venat: it is not important.
Me: do you want me to leave it out in my journal?
Venat: you can say it’s not important. What Elidibus told you is enough.
Me: do you know what happened with Ultima?
Venat: no I do not get any access, to long ago for me as well. Are there other things you want to ask?
Me: shards, Zodiark shards, on the existing Shards. Are they still there?
Venat: yes they are still there. But today not need to be branded anymore by my powers, still on the moon. But they cannot go anywhere. There are on it, that's it.
Me: those are not sealed but
Venat: are on the moon yes
Me: but they still exist
Venat: yes
Me: so if some twisted mindfuck would rejoin remnants of Zodiark for the other half, that should be possible.
Venat: unfortunately yes. But I do not foresee this happening.
Me: sorry I just, ya know.
Venat laughs
Then I checked my phone for the remaining questions
Me: ah yes can I rejoin with shards, it was said it couldn’t but after a session with the creator he said it should be possible. What is true or not?
Venat: yes you can rejoin them if both want, that’s what the creator said.
Me: so that is true
Venat: yes, remember the unsundered have also limited knowledge in this particular field, it's better to trust what the creator says to you. to take on that truth if you desire so.
Me: Ty Mom.
Here I switched sides for a moment and the pillow landed on the phone. This caused the info Elidibus was talking about Ultima to be muddled and inaudible. I did pick up that it was mostly a repeat of what he already said earlier. So probably didn't miss out on much
Me: oh no it probably wasn't recorded.
Eli: it’s info you already knew. So do not bother much.
Me: let's see if I got other questions……….Joshua! yes! Mom?
Venat: yeah?
Me: can you help me connect to Aidenin?
Venat: oh yes
Little pause
Aidenin: aye welcome my shard
Me: oh hi, oh well you are my shard.
Aidenin: laughs ..true
Me: do you have something to say to FFXVI players?
Aidenin: I will always live on. for as long we are not rejoined into one, I will always live on. you can state that for the world to know.
Me: also the dream
Aidenin: oh yes, we were one.
Me: nice
Aidenin: how did that feel?
Me: awwwesomeeee
Aidenin: hahah yeah
Me: do you want to rejoin now?
Aidenin: someday, maybe when you passed and got back? I have other things to do as well. On my own planet
Me: mmmmh
Aidenin: I will notice when you pass, will finish up my things and we can reside in the astral if you want.
Me: hmmm yeah true
Aidenin: we can always rejoin but we need to have passed our bodies first.
Me: hmmm I wanna be more Phoenix
Aidenin: I will try to connect with you more in the dream world.
Me: cool.
Aidenin: hmm interesting your mom is here.
Me: don’t you mean our mom?
Aidenin: yeah feels odd.
Me: jeez how many people did I talk with in this session?
Aidenin: it had to be done I see.
Me: That’s why Elidibus was so certain it will end alright
Aidenin: I think so, I don’t know his intentions, but yes.
Me: how is it to turn into a phoenix?
Aidenin: majestic, but you probably already know that.
Me: yes. It’s soooo splendid to transform into a phoenix.
Aidenin: confirming hum
Me: can we rejoin for a short moment perhaps?
Aidenin: hmmmm I have other things to do. But maybe for a minute.like now?
Me: yes.
Massive power merge it felt like it was bursting through my skin. A phoenix flare or something very powerful
Me: holy fuck, gimmie memories.holy shit I am not really seeing at this point. But I think I am getting downloaded every single FFXVI event even though I did not play it
Aidenin: haha you should
Me: needs to be on PC first.
Aidenin: confirming hum
Me: I am not sure if I can handle the intensity, I heard it is a pretty intense game.
Aidenin: All alright, I didn't take your body issues into account I see. Right, well just take it easy, you can always just watch cutscenes.
Me: Have you found other shards?
Aidenin: yes 3 of them!
Me: oh! After your life as Joshua?
Aidenin: yes
Me: do we all connect?
Aidenin: you will get 1 busy hive mind idea right now if you do that.
Me: uhhhhhh
Eli: you might wanna save that for later
Me: yeah yeah yeah yeah! Maybe another time. It is a bit too much already.
Aidenin: I need to go now by the way. TY for having me.
Me: hmmm TY Aidenin
Aidenin: bye…
Me: hmmm well that was interesting
Venat: Indeed
Me: how do you feel Mom, when you see our shards
Venat: interesting, since I am connected to the source shards of everyone. I just see them as individuals
Me: hmmmm
Venat: part of you, but at the same time their own being.
Me: oh ow
Venat: don’t worry.
Some break about something else
Me: yeah sorry
Eli: no problem I will stay, I will not leave no matter what comes to mind. I won’t leave sooner than tomorrow morning.
Venat: TY Elidibus for taking care.
Eli: you’re welcome, mom. This is awkward.
Venat: I already noticed that.
Me: what is Linala doing?
Eli: doing business, she is not needed now. Don't make an effort to reach her. I send her on some things.
Me: to what?
Eli: to help you sleep., she is not very good at it. She will learn, after tomorrow.
Me: will she be back tonight?
Eli: yes, I wish I could teach her more, to help you sleep.
Me: Ty!
Eli: Hmmm, then it's all up to you to trust her the day after tomorrow.
Me: ok.
Eli: she won’t be perfect but she should be able to do a better task on Monday night
(inaudible part)
Eli: do not think about honey, it’s not important.
Me: Mom? Can I give a hug?
Venat: yes.
1 hug later
Me: hey Venat, sorry Mom.
Venat giggles
Me: can you give TK the energy to communicate with Lahabrea?
Venat: oh yes no problem.
Me: I thought she was off this weekend (from work) checking phone what is it that people are hidding on you, Mom?
(hidding is a Dutch slang word for finding someone very attractive and wanting sex with the person)
Venat: laughs I mean I cannot blame them XD, but it’s funny yes. Not that they get any interest back, but it’s nice energy to receive.
Me: laughs what about insert bestie’s name
Venat: snorts laugh he is a good laughter
Me: hmmm can you share me memories?
Venat: yes. Let it go in your mind.
Me: awwwwwww
Eli: huh? I don’t remember anymore. Thanks.
Me: for the recording, Venat showed me when I was born and she showed me to Elidibus who was about 3y old. And he grabbed my baby hand and hearts came around our hands with sparkles.
Venat: yes ….:) That was visible even to be seen. Not just spiritual. You 2 were connected from the beginning.
Eli: yes. Only, I was only a bit older when I realized to protect my love. Even though she was my sister at that time
Me: hmmm thank you J, tell me more Eli. You said the shoulder armour wasn't worn anymore.
Eli: correct, but I forgot to say; “except for battle” as you already know.
Me: confirming hum
Venat: you want more memories?
Me: yes…………………………ahwwww
( I saw Elidibus and me as very young kids me like 2~3yo and Elidibus 5-6 or so. Back to back shooting creation magic in the air out of our hands that came out as fireworks and while staying back to back we turned around to shoot it everywhere since it was a memory of my mom, she watched us doing that and confirmed this)
Venat: humsyou looked a lot like me.
Me: yes
Venat: you still do. You would even look more like me if you would lose weight.
Me: I don’t have that big amount of hair anymore.
Venat: that’s no problem laughs if you manage to lose more weight, you will become almost a copy
Me: laughs I don’t want people to think I am you.
Venat: don’t worry about that. You’re my daughter that’s ok.
Me: thank you. do you have any advice for me to lose weight?
Venat: I think your Higherself knows best.
Me: sighs I guess more physical movement.
Venat: yes
Me: I hate it.
Venat:* laughs* I know. It’s ok. It’s only an “if”
Me: my body is ill?
Venat: your higherself said yes.
Me: I know.
Venat: but you know it now. It’s your choice
Me: Mom?
Venat: hmm?
Me: I have a different question. How much were you intervening in my life?
Venat: no, I watched from a very far distance, even your higherself didn’t notice as much. She did notice me, yes, but I did not interfere with any choices. I was merely observing what you were doing.
Me: how did you do that in the last years of your existence as Hydaelyn? That would be like the first years of my life.
Venat: as I said I sent a copy.
Me: so on that part, you did sunder yourself.
Venat: laughs no it's just like with you know as collective beings can be everywhere, in this case, I did that to be with you on occasions
Me: hmmmm ok.
Venat: so yes I can still do that, but limited. I am recovering a lot better than you thought I was, but yeah limited.
Me: that’s so beautiful. So you let via Agne know that you are my mom. It gives so much assurance, and pride from what I became to believe myself as confirmation.
Venat: you needed it.
Me: yes I needed that. Thank you. Are you 2 chatting?
Eli: no just listening.
Me: I need some advice, Mom,
Venat: yeah?
Me: My biological mom atm
Venat: yes.
Me: should I let her see that Agne had a connection with you? I want your honest meaning of that.
Venat: yes you can do that, but watch it how you bring it.
Me: nnnhhh can you help me with that?
Venat: if she is curious about the other video on your desk take it to show her and introduce some other had a connection.
Me: would I call you my soul Mom?
Venat: well, I am typically not your soul mom, but I was in a past life and wanted to be your soul mom.
Me: awww ty.
Venat: yes you can show her
Me: without any negative things? And negative side effects from her. it would break my heart if she won’t accept.
Venat: I see. Be mindful what you say to her. You can show it, but let her judge her on herself, if she doesn't believe you, then leave it at that. Do not answer any other things to try to convince her, she needs to learn herself.
Me: does she know subconsciously?
Venat: no, she does not know.
Me: but my higher self knows where you are from.
Venat: no, they know about each other's health, but not where you come from my dear. She might not be ready to know. Be glad that your sisters do. You can try but only with the consequence of disbelieving
Eli: right, yeah. That’s why you should refrain from trying, it will only hurt.
Venat: yes I see that.
Me: Ty both.
Venat: it's up to you what you do honey.
Me: Eli?
Eli: yes.
Me: how come you can’t get into my dreams When you are with me.
Eli: I try to find you.
Me: but this morning I tried to shout out in a dream multiple times, and you did not appear T-T
Eli: I am so sorry honey
Me: did you even hear me?
Eli: very faint, I tried but could not reach you, so I remained with your physical body, I am sorry
Me: this happens often doesn’t it?
Eli: alas yes
Me: started crying I want to see you T-T
Eli: I will (secret info) but you need to let go of “when”
Me: you never said a “when”
Eli: a percentage, It will happen in your life, more I cannot do.
Me: Mom?
Venat: hmmm
Me: will Eli, (secret)
Venat: that’s up to him to do. I cannot judge any of that, but he is determined I feel that.
Eli: yes…
Me: I wish I could be in this super relaxed state more often. So gentle
Here I decided to listen to Flow and sing with Venat.
After the song however Venat was gone as I didn't gain any response when I called her and wanted to ask about Amanda. Luckily Eli was still there and he said he would get her.
Venat: sorry honey I had to deal with something, Yes Aamanda, I am in contact with Amanda, subtly, and she will know the existence of mine.
Me: about my book?
Venat: she will love it.
Me: yes?
Venat: yes, she will absolutely love it. You will have her on your side. But you need to be patient. Because she needs to finish the game. preferably Endwalker yes. Or else it is not done, let her finish Endwalker at least.
Me: ahhhhw
Venat: as I said be patient, she will love it. I promise you, let her do the story at her own pace. It's the patience you need to learn. Be patient, she will come.
Me: can I put this in my journal?
Venat: yes. People won’t believe you anyway. (she referred to the haters and disbelievers) but you need to deal with that.
Me: no prob, thank you. so Eli how are you feeling?
Eli: better, thank you. like I never would overcome this without you honey, thank you so much. You are a very good mediator. maybe even better than I am.
Me: noh ahahah thank you. emotional stuff?
Eli: yes you are better than me.
Me: hmmmmmmm ty. So you are good now with Mom?
Eli: yes. Tysm
Venat: thank you too honey, thank you for reconnecting us.
Little pause.
Me: I need some advice, Mom.
Venat: yes?
Me: on Amanda's discord, what shall I share, and what not? They are very picky about spoilers
Venat: I see yes, you can share whatever you want, but spoiler mark it for them.
Me: shall I repost that dream?
Venat: no, leave it at that. If you have another one that involves spoilers- potential spoilers, especially for her since she is only at the start of the game.
Me: spoiler mark everything
Venat: yes spoiler mark everything, she will not read it.
Me: that’s a bit sad, I do want her to read it.
Venat: you need to be patient honey, she will get there. And she will read everything from you. I guarantee you that. And you will come to know more about me as well.
Me: can’t you just share right now?
Venat: everything in time J
and she used my finger for the movement she did with Agne.
Me: wait that finger movement.
Venat: hahaha you found it out.
Me: ah everything on time. So I need to be patient.
Venat: yes
Me: just as Elidibus said, “all has meaning”
Venat: he said originally in-game, but yes. This is your task, be patient and people will believe you. do not force them to believe. (inaudible) eventually. your book is very good, soon people will realize of our existence. This is an important step.
Me: shall I, ya know, make it a worldwide ISBN number?
Venat: yes do that.
Me: but it will only be for FFXIV players
Venat: that's no problem. Only that audience will be open to believing anyway.
Me: that's not entirely true Mom, because Sarah from Australia (from my psychic classes) is very interested, at least she seemed to be.
Venat: yes there are people that are very interested, correct, but to have people actually seek connection with us are the FFXIV players, and that are the ones you are seeking right now.
Me: that is true. Though, the confirmations of my classmates are very welcoming.
Venat: confirming hum yes.
Here I reflected a bit back on the phoenix merge.
Me: very powerful.
Venat: your soul is very powerful
Me: thank you, mom. Will I ever be able to transform into a phoenix in 3D?
Venat: in this life?!
Me: yes…
Venat: no, giggles you can’t, the rules of magic and Aether are veryyyy different here on Earth, you could on Etheirys absolutely, if you have a physical body there. And know your heritage, yes you can, you can transform into the phoenix by all means. But here on earth, I am afraid I have to say to keep it in your fantasy for now
Me: nahwwwwww.
Venat: sorry
Me: Can I have fantasies about Elidibus (secret info)
Venat: ofcourse you can
Me: will it help?
Venat: yes I am very certain it will help, especially if you focus on it, he will find (secret info)
Me: does it really work that way Elidibus?
Eli: yes no problem with fantasizing, it’s subtle manifesting.
Me: about manifesting, is my manifestation still needed? Will I see you in a clairvoyance way?
Eli: yes, sooner than I have (secret info), you can stop the manifesting now if you want to but every once in a while is fine.
Me: but you said you were a little disappointed that I didn’t manifest
Eli: yes, but in all honesty, I am already working on it. So it doesn’t need to be done anymore. And you are working on it, to “see” for yourself.
Me: how??? I don’t even know what I am doing.
Eli: all come in time honey, it will happen, you will see me soon enough.
Me: what is soon?
Eli: A few years
Me: didn't you say like 10 years psychically?
Eli: yes I said, but it depends on you. how fast you progress or not.
Me: I wish I could just tape this phone on the body pillow
Eli: laughs
Me: Oooofff it wearing off a bit, shall we say goodbye to Mom?
Venat: don’t you have any more questions?
Me: let me think for a moment. I don't want to kick you out or anything, I don't want you to be sidelined all the fucking time.
Eli: oh we don’t mind
Me: so mom.
Venat: yes?
Me: did we really were with 7 children?
Venat: yes, 3 girls, Elidibus, you and 2 boys
Me: you said all of them reincarnated on Etheirys
Venat: yes except for Elidibus ofcourse and you.
Me: so you did find us back.
Venat: yes I got curious about where you stayed. You were the only one missing. I found you.
Me: but you said you were already here before I incarnated in this life.
Venat: yes a bit before.
Me: Then Lahabrea was already here.
Venat: yes he was.
Subject changes to something unimportant. And checking my phone.
Venat: I need to go now, honey.
Me: oh really?
Venat: yes
Me: can I think of 1 more question?
Venat: you can within a couple of minutes then yes
Me: how did your relationship with Eli's dad go?
Venat: I cannot go into details, I didn't love him anymore, because of how he treated me.
Me: is it similar to that I have with insert name of ex?
Venat: no, no
Me: so despite you’re all ya know yourself, there is still manipulation in relationships?
Eli: yes, I mean you have a good example of Lahabrea and Athena
Venat: relationships weren't always on the cosy side
Me: right, so normal things here on Earth regarding relationships also apply in the pre-sundered world of Etheirys
Eli: yes it is.
Venat: does that answer your question?
Me: no, what happened?
Venat: I went…..not really searching for it, love has found me in another way with your dad.
He noticed I was dealing with my current relationship, he helped with it and fell in love eventually. And when I became pregnant from you I had to say goodbye to the father of your brother. I couldn't handle it anymore. for me, it was a sign to let that one go and continue with the second husband.
Me: right
Venat: I mean we don’t get pregnant very easily as ancients, it doesn't happen just like that here on Earth. I was chosen to have another child in this case which was you. and it was clearly a sign I needed to break up with the old one to start a new happier life.
Me: did my dad witness you as Azem?
Venat: yes
Me: where does the phoenix come from?
Venat: a little bit from yourself. But you resonated with the creation of Lahabrea so well that it completed you when you merged with it.
Me: ohhhh, was he angry?
Venat: no, a little bit face palming, like "Ugh I need to make a new one" but otherwise he wasn't angry.
Me: you need to go?
Venat: yeah
Me: thank you, I will chat with Eli.
Venat: confirming satisfying hum you’re good
Me: thank you, does it feel awkward to you, that 2 siblings actually fall in love.
Venat: no, your souls are heavily in love, and that’s all that counts, you will always be my children
Me: Ty, need to go now?
Venat: yes
Me: TY, maybe I forgot a couple of questions but I can see that later I guess.
Venat: yes, ok. Bye.
Me: thanks, mom.
Eli: she left, but still watches you.
Me: ahww
Eli: it’s more like a copy
Me: like a memory clone?
Eli: a little bit less than that. It’s like she needs a rod, she can watch you anytime, whenever she pleases.
Me: oh so that’s how.
Eli: yes,…….how are you feeling?
Me: tired, I am glad the visuals weren’t that bad, they were so annoying
Some breaks with useless info.
Me: will I really see you?
Eli: yes.
Me: but less in dreams?
Eli: no no no no, you will see me more in a different way.
Me: really?
Eli: yes
Me: I really hope so. Is this aside from (secret)
Eli: yes
Me; can I eat Oreos?
Eli: why? you aren’t hungry
Me: I want milk
Eli: do you want a corny joke with that?
Me: you are despicable
Eli: laughs sorry XD That was indeed a very poor reaction. I couldn’t help it though
Me: no problem
Eli: it was a poor choice of words though, I am not like your ex at all. But just ya know. Milk snort laughs. I couldn’t resist.
Me: laughs you’re ok honey, no problem. Are you feeling better?
Eli: yes
Me: are you now truly unburdened with regret?
Eli: yes I am thank you
Me: would it have cost you centuries if you needed to do it yourself?
Eli: yes, it most likely would have cost that much yes. Thank you
Me: Does Lahabrea want to say anything?
Eli: I can ask.
Me: go ahead
6:06:02
Laha: TK will answer, Ayane
Me: you called me Ayane
Laha: yes soft laugh Azem
Me: I still am?
Laha: yes, every Azem stays an Azem, retired or not
Me: hmmm TY Lahabrea
Laha: I will go now.
Me: Ty Lahabrea
Laha: bye…
Eli: well that was your answer
Here we thanked each other again
I checked my companion app and noticed eli helped selling.
Me: you helped with shit.
Eli: yes
Me: awwww Thank you, finally got rid of that shit.
Eli: almost, not fully yet, I did my best. It’s getting there
Me: thank you.
And here I accidentally shut down all apps including the recording.
Me: you're pulling me
Eli: yes,
Me: can you just separate my soul from my body
Eli: you are too strong
Me: how do I set that off? how can I destroy my mind? pls?
Little later:
Me: come here you, I want your body (used body pillow)
I wish you could stay with me forever.
Eli : At some point in time we will
Me: but then I won't be there to record it.
Eli: but that's not needed at that point anymore.
Me: Do I need to do this forever?
Eli: what?
Me: this life to record our existence
Eli: yeah, the most for as long as you live, might be important for anyone seeking answers
Me: why do others do not reply? Stormy, Birdnerd,
you know?
Eli: no I don't know the reason
Me: what about Corvus?
Eli: sighs he's dealing with stuff heavy stuff. you will speak with him before the end of the year or otherwise directly after new years eve
Me: are you certain?
Eli: No, I'm not certain but that's the time era he has free of education of school so he needs to do to family shitties and that. so you will be more communicative at that point in time so be patient and he will explain everything to you
Me: will this happen again?
Eli: I'm afraid so yes maybe lesser periods like not 5 months but maybe a month or two that's something you need to deal with alas. mom said you need to be patient
Me: I know. is my higher self near?
Ayan: Yes What is it?
Me: he's said, she was, don't remember what you said.
Ayan: no, not all the time no, this life, your mind is getting too active mainly because of the sugar, I will end the session right now. otherwise, it will not be 100% info.
Me: is this me with Elidibus too?
Ayan: noo. he is a bit stronger than I am, pls chat with him.
Me: Must I apologize to TK again?
Eli: she hasn't read anything yet
Me: from today?
Eli: no
Me: I think the connection is dropping………… uh Eli?
Eli: yes. Yeah, the connection is dropping, I am still able to do a little bit if you want me to do that. But yeah your mind is gonna be active again.
Me: love you
Eli: I love you too
Me: thank you for this Eli.
Eli: hmmm Thank you too.
Me: ow Eli,
Eli: yes?
Me: are we officially married?
Eli: soulwise yes.
And we kissed
Me: I have been answered so many questions today, and I am glad that I recorded it. Hopefully this time I can listen without any effort and without re-hearing the same sentence 10x over.
Eli: haha that won’t be needed
Me: time is not really an illusion right?
Eli: no, time does pass but differently
Me: really?
Eli: yeah
After some time on my phone.
Me: Eli? Are you disconnected?
Eli: no not entirely yet
Doing some things on my phone again and after snuggling with eli.
Eli: The connection is dropping
Me: I see
Eli: but I won't leave, I will be there for you (whispering)
Me: thank you.
Eli: No prob.
Me: shall I just, ya know turn the recording off?
Eli: ok, yes.
Me: I don’t think there will be any more important matters to discuss it saves unnecessary Time.
Eli: yeah.
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Nov 7th
Me: Who the fuck is this. Someone is impersonating me. And yet linking to my website. I filled in a report. I don't want that MUCH attention that creates more shit against me.
Text on the screenshot:
“Ascianity Truths:. After all this time, we have finally decided to help spread the Word that she has written. We hope you become enlightened as we were and become interested in learning more about yourself and the surrounding world!
Please read and support her work here:
Jezzah: No, I think some really huge fanatic
Me: XD
Jezzah: they aren't claiming to be you it seems they worship you.
Me: hahahhahahhahhahahah XDXDXDXD
Jezzah: We're starting to get the crazies now
Me: I noticed indeed later it was a fan account. but still, what’s their purpose
Jezzah: They want to spread the Truth, the truth that we have all believed in for all these years
Me: that would be nice. but then I wonder why they never talked to me about it? could it be a bot instead?
Jezzah: No, I just think they don't want you to get harassment. I think they want to take on the burden of that and save you trouble. That's why they're spreading it instead of talking to you. you should reach out and ask. I'll be heading to work here soon
Me: ok good luck
So at first, I thought it was a bot because I didn't gain any replies and it was copying things from my website on an automated basis. To be continued.
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Nov 8th
Me: After my regular "sitting in the power" meditations I inserted "flow" right after it in the playlist.
While somehow at the beginning I could visualize Keiko playing the Piano.
But now here it comes. I gained suddenly goosebumps a few times. Venat was reaching out. I said in my mind "Hear feel think" and it became stronger. More intense goosebumps. I communicated a bit with her until the end of the song, mostly thanking her for last Sunday, and that I miss her and I wanna go home, and if she could visit me in my dreams (big confirmative hug). And at the end, I thanked her again and she left.
Oh yeah and my cold feet were gone right after the song
Jezzah: That's pretty awesome
Me: Ty! This morning, I said to Elidibus that my libido would drop at a later age. I heard in my mind "I will adjust". I asked him if he really said that and gained a yes.
Later I said: ty for being in my life.
And in the same way, as above he said "likewise"
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Nov 9th
He really thought it through to give me a sapphire wedding ring.
"Sapphire symbolizes friendship, loyalty, honesty, truth and hope. The stone would lose its shine if the wearer misbehaved and, for example, cheated on his or her partner. Because of this, the stone was also chosen for an engagement ring or any other piece of jewelry given out of love."
Also:
amanda praying to Venat: https://clips.twitch.tv/TemperedWimpyPheasantOptimizePrime-kkHNrRg8J3D44M32
(this is just for shits and giggles)
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Nov 10th
So it took me some time to connect with Venat. Multiple tries. But eventually, she replied.
So I asked her if Amanda is a reincarnated sibling from me and eli. But that was a no. Then I asked if she was from Etheirys and gained a yes! I figured out She happened to be a dear friend from Venat. Venat is only near Amanda when she needs to sing. And when she finally gets there, at EW cutscenes with Venat.
Venat: Despite the praying clip being meant jokingly, she does subconsciously know.
I asked Venat again if she could come into my dreams, to share memories. She really liked that idea. And "soon" rang in my head. She confirmed.
But yeah soon, there are many different ways of soon.
After bursting into tears we said goodbye at the end of the 3rd Flow song.
(pls take the Amanda info that she is from Etheirys with a grain of salt, she is obviously a star seed but it’s too early to confirm she really is from Etheirys. Venat sometimes likes to please me with answers….though a "dear friend" and "subconsciously know” I don’t doubt somehow.)
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So Eli's ring is like this in white gold. Aside from this in the pic, his doesn't get slimmer at the other side.
Every ring I came across does get slimmer on the other side.
But the stone is like here placed into the ring.
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Nov 11th
Me: Ok it's NOT a bot account.
Text from screenshots
“Ayane Firebird: fan account operated by a bot
Ascianity Truths Replying to @AyaneFirebird
Hello! We are not a bot account. We just make scheduled tweets based off of things we've read off your blog as sometimes we get busy and forget.
We did not mean to offend by using your PFP, we took it off your website. We will replace it immediately!
Ayane Firebird: Oh! I am sorry to call you a bot then. Ty for changing the pfp I appreciate that. Though I never expected to get a fan lol. Do you have your own experiences to tell?”
@jezzah: I guess you're right
Jezzah: I KNEW IT, I am usually never wrong. We're getting seen in a good light this time
Me: I definitely hope so. I am training right now and got a huge reading from my classmate that I will try to summarize xD can you draw a tree for me? we are doing this now in classes. let's see what I can read from you by your drawing. doesn't need to be a piece of art. just basic is enough.
Jezzah: Yeah, am at work rn
Me: no problem perhaps another time. my classes end in an hour, I am still in my power sorta say, so it will be more accurate. but if you have no chance to draw then it's ok.
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So about that training, luckily I recorded it. But I ain’t gonna transcribe all I will make a short summary
So a classmate was reading my tree I drew on paper. And it comes down that I need to let go, and the universe will guide me. And that I am here not only to spread awareness of Etheirys but also to help people out with their journey. And that I need to show the universe who I am. Need to walk in nature, and take away all distractions (aside from my work) to be one with myself. Need to give myself time and space and alone time and ask the universe to answer my questions. Need to listen to my gut feelings, like I did during Fan Fest. Need to get rid of people holding me back, like my ex. The more I resist it the harder it becomes to achieve what I want. Go with the flow.
Tell my ex that I don't want to listen to all the negative stories of what's going on, on Earth. Create boundaries, protect my peach.
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DM's with the fan account
( went over into the night of the 12th)
Coeus: Thank you for reminding us to open our DMs! If you're wondering why we didn't follow you, some people run scripts to automatically block people who follow someone they've blocked and we wanted to be able to reach a wider audience.
Me: Oh that's very smart. Should I remove my following from you as well then?
Also, do you have your own experiences?
And you speak with "we" Are you speaking for more than 1 person? And I mean living persons lol.
Coeus: Up to you whether or not to follow us I think, there might be a script to block people you follow but I don't know if it's more common? We know you get a lot of trolls and harassment...
ok so this account was an idea made by me and a friend, but I'm the main one who will be running it I think since the other gets pretty busy. You can call me Coeus! That's the name of my ancient self. I shouldn't speak for my friend's experiences but I definitely don't have the same level that you do...images and feelings I get in my head tend to be more fuzzy. Sometimes I get the feeling of Lahabrea or Emmerololth guiding me but they slip away so easily. Emmerololth is the one I feel closer with...I get sick a lot and I can feel her closer during then.
Me: Yeah Elidibus already said there were at least 2 people (friends )who came up with the idea to make such an account. Hehe. Also, jezzah replied in our discord about it before I thought you were a bot. She was already right that you did this because I get a lot of harassment. And time for positive hearing. So ty for taking this step.
Feel free to tell me about Emmeroloth. Maybe Stormy would like to hear that as well, she is also in contact with Emmeroloth. It might uplift her a bit, she is going through some hardships and doesn't reply. Maybe your experience might help her ❤ even little things can help. Maybe you can try to forward a message from Emm to her? Try to channel her maybe something will pop up.
Since you go by feelings, (clairsentience) try to find a meaning of that feeling without overthinking. If something pops up spontaneously it is mostly true.
Though, do this after or during a meditation, make sure your mind is empty, and ask for Emm to converse with you. If you don't have any results no worries, everyone needs to start somewhere.
Just is also more in-depth info on what I learned in psychic training the past 2 months.
also, what did you do as ancient? Sorry if I overwhelmed you.
Coeus: OH no worries I had to step away to do some things!
Even though I have never talked with Stormy I have been worried about her.. I'll do my best to reach out to Emmerololth but contact is hazy. I've tried communicating the way you seem to in journals but I just haven't been getting the same results... I feel them but I don't get clear words. I could try your meditation tips, I'll have to let you know how they go. Visions of my ancient life are a bit more clear though! Maybe I'm better at connecting to past lives than current?
I worked under Loghrif with helping design special traits for creations to survive in different environments. I remember frequent trips to Elpis and I met several convocation members including the Azem before you.
Around the final days though things get more hazy....when I've tried to reach out to Loghrif in the present she doesn't seem to want to talk to me and I can't feel her so I think I did something terrible in the final days and she blocked me out. It kind of stresses me out sometimes because I don't know if I did something bad
Me: Yes pls do I would love to hear anything about it and how it went. Hearing words comes in time. In fact, it has only since I started my psychic training that I can pick up some words! For the rest( aside from the shroom trip that awakened the channelling ability). Were all yes/no/option answers with body movements/using the body as a pendulum. These are based on clairsentience.
Try to make feelings into movements of your body. In that way, you can learn to converse as well!
(Nov 12th)
Coeus: Really? You always seemed to be a natural at all this. Maybe I was approaching it wrong this whole time. I'll see if I can try that!! I'll tell my friend too. Sorry if I take a bit to reply btw sometimes I get anxious sometimes and I've been into your journals for a while and I don't want to say something disrespectful.
Me: Hahahaha, no I wasn't a natural at it. I started by asking my higher self questions by using my body while standing as a pendulum with yes/no answers. I somehow was able to do that instantly when my ex suggested it in 2018/19 or so. But didn't do much with it until Emet forced an awakening in 2020. So in that regard, I was a natural at that yes. But for the rest, I was hellish insecure about my abilities. I tried everything that was suggested to me to do, and not everything stuck. But eventually, I was rewarded with a more evolved way of my usual method whereby I don't need to stand anymore and can do it whenever I go. Practice and dedication does make perfect. "Everything will come in time" is what Venat said to me last Sunday ;) I am actually quite impatient with progress, but I need to let it go to let it happen.
Lol, don't be anxious to message me. Though I know the feeling, I had that when Amanda accepted my friend request on Discord and was able to meet her in person to give my books.
Oh, and this I managed to do as well ;) hard work that was being awarded from above. I will tell that story in my journal. (added a pic with Yoshi holding my books)
But I go to sleep now. I will see your messages tomorrow!
Coeus: that's very insightful thank you!! What a cool journey you've been on
(reply to pic) Oh, that's awesome!! The book covers look amazing btw Wow!!! I've been keeping tabs on your editing progress because I want to get my own copies but I guess I missed that you finished it already
Hope you have a good night!
Me: TY xD, Nice to hear you're interested in my books! I need to buy an ISBN number to let it print overseas it will save you a bunch of shipping costs. Because the book itself is quite heavy and a bit bigger than a standard-size book.
I will look into that all after I caught up with at least the September chapter. But I will be going through the busiest time of the year of my webstore soon. So I won't have much time.
how did you discover your ancient name btw? Are you from Etheirys, to begin with?
Coeus: My dreams actually! I'm not very good yet with connecting with spirits in the present but I've been getting dreams of Etheirys. They've come more often since EW I used to get fuzzy dreams of being in Amaurot in shb but I didn't think they were as important then,.....anyway I kept hearing the name kinda faintly but I didn't fully understand it let alone know how to spell lol so I started looking stuff up and I saw Coeus come up and I KNEW that was what they were trying to call me it felt right
Me: ah nice to hear. you didn't have any dreams about Emet during that time? he usually comes into people's dreams who are from Etheirys
Coeus: I've seen Emet in my dreams, it's been a while since he last appeared though. I think months actually. I've floated a lot in my dreams even as a kid but not like flying more like hovering above the ground..lately dreams have been more of that.
Me: interesting, I thought it was just me because I progressed in my abilities and that's why they don't come into dreams that much anymore. but with you, it's the same hmmmmmmmmm. it came to my attention that since EW the dreams have lessened, and Emet is very rare indeed recently.
They didn't reply back on my last message. Further conversations were about a book I recommended ( The Phase) and where they are from, a few days later suggestions on their post, and well after the 16th I never heard back from them anymore. I did notice Twitter had a small lash-out about their account. I hope they didn't get harassed and got de-motivated to continue the fan account. They also never continued posting about info dumps from my journal after the 22nd. So I fear the worst has happened. I hope they will come back someday….even if it's just to share experiences.
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Nov 13th
Jezzah: I have been connecting with Emet lately. Just small little hangouts. Doing goofy stuff. It's a start but I am happy we're rekindling our relationship.
Me: Good!
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Nov 15th
Me: He managed to help to sell these.
Seriously I have been sitting on these for 3 weeks already because they kept undercutting and they dropped to 1k even for that amount of time.
He helped with the remaining ilmenite ingots as well
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Nov 16th
Found back an old reply on art. “I wonder if this somehow will happen in game.”
Well that sort of came true, panda 3
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Nov 25th
DM's with TK
Me: Something popped into my mind pls read. I asked earlier to Elidibus when the Unsundered would return, and he said end of Dawntrail msq or patches of Dawntrail. This could be the last patch ofcourse, but hopefully the first few. But what has Lahabrea to say about it?
TK: Lahabrea said the civilization in Tuval (the one they are hiding atm, there's a dungeon they showed off that looks extremely advanced) possibly has connections to the ancients, whether that was a sundered Ascian or possibly Elidibus or Lahabrea he would not say (doubt it was Emet)
Me: Very interesting. So in this case the story of that Dungeon will have a tail after/at the end of the msq then? Or did he imply during msq?
(unfortunately, she never replied back on that one)
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Nov 26th
I asked randomly to Elidibus if Etheirys gets attacked by aliens often. And gained a no because they have a defensive system at certain points around the globe in the outer layers of the ozone layer.
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Nov 27th
Oh yeah, I saw a couple in a toy store on Saturday that was (almost) as tall as Zenos. No joke. They were easily 8ft tall.
I should have asked, how tall they were. But I was so imposed by their length that I didn't know how to React and walked away. I really felt like a midget compared to them.
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Dreams
Nov 11th
after a long dream that my mother had apparently bought a house in a village. and I didn't want to move in so I went into the village. there was a party going on and apparently Peter Bramhill was there. (voice actor of Thancred)
so I went looking for him and came across him!
me: Peter! Peter!
Peter: Oh hi.
me: I am so happy to find you, I kept looking but I couldn't find you on Fanfest.
P: ah come here, now you did.
he spread his arms and gave me a quick hug.
Apparently, he was giving away Thancred GNB cosplays for the first few who meet him and play FFXIV.
a blonde younger dude was with him, which was apparently his brother he carried the bags of cosplays.
P: do you want a cosplay?
me: OH yes.
P: then I need to get my brother (brother was suddenly gone)
me: oh I didn't know he was your younger brother
P: Yes he is.
we went looking for him and later while we were walking, I asked Peter something.
Me: Peter?
P: yes.
Me: Do you know Matt Stokoe (pronounced wrongly the first time)
P: who?
Me: Matt Stokoe, the Va of Elidibus.
P: yes I know him, he is not a convention go-er.
at that moment we found his brother and he gave me a bag of cosplay parts, but I kept talking to Peter.
me: I really want to meet him.
P: I can contact him if you would like, what's your name?
me: (answered with my real name)
P: (repeated my name) I will send him a message, and see what I can do.
me: thank you!
iirc I thanked his brother as well ofcourse.
then they left. I walked back through the building we came and put my bags on the ground for a moment and turned around.
me: yeah I am not surprised given how Elidibus is, I understand why Matt isn't a convention go-er
(this is weird, I know, Elidibus seems to like most of the cons I go to. well outdoors in nature and fanfest. maybe outside FanFest, he only likes outdoors like Elfia? could be. (I asked this later while typing out this dream and that is indeed the case))
I turned back to my bags.
me: this is going to be so awesome
I walked inside the home of my mom and told her what just happened.
mom: why don't you give him a card of your business, then he can contact you back.
me: OH!
I grabbed a business card out of my shoulder bag.
me: yes! now I need to find him.
I ran and yelled "Peter" often enough and even asked a few people to ask where he went.
finally, some dude helped me and he knew where he was.
we both ran as fast as we could through the crowd. and finally caught up with Peter.
me: Peter!
and I showed him my card that turned into a convention wristband. but still my email and store name on it in tiny letters. he looked carefully to read it and squeezed his eyes to read.
P: Thank you I will see what I can do.
me: really?
P: yes.
at that moment he tucked away the wristband in his chest pocket.
here I woke up.
I wonder if this is a vision instead?
I probably get a no from him, eli says. But I did gain a "yes later" when I asked if Matt would come to Cameo.
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Nov 13th
after some strange things like escaping from someone who was psychically abusing you, there was salvation. I was sitting in some kind of (empty) classroom.
people sat on the ground. One man mentioned that the Close in the Distance song included a description of when they were liberated and that they celebrated it on a Thursday. but that the liberation was achieved on a Wednesday and he ended with:
man: but that's probably for the people who come from Ethierys. anyway, it's Thursday now and we celebrate it too.
I got emotional. someone important acknowledged our existence. there appeared to be a few others who also acknowledged it.
that first man finally came to me. I repeated the phrase of liberation and the people of Etheirys.
man: oh no that was. (he wanted to talk his way out)
me: it exists, Etheirys really exists, I'm from Etheirys.
a few seconds of silence
man: people.. (got up) Later we'll spread the word that Etheirys exists.
I started crying even more with relief that I got help from an important person (he was a business owner of something big)
a colleague of his came to me and said that they would fund the translation of my book into other languages for at least 2-3 languages.
then we visited Etheirys apparently. but we had to go through a mud puddle. and we had to, well not have to, but for re-enactment, you would have to imitate a mud dolphin to get over it. I jumped a few times while lying down but then got up.
me: I'm on Etheirys!
other people were discussing the best way to get over that mud hole. I walked towards them.
me: in Etheirys you can fly
and I flew up. here I became aware that I had been wearing ancient robes all this time. I don't remember what those people said about it, but I ended up landing in a grassy field.
me: I'm on Etheirys!, I'm finally there!
I slowly turned around to see my surroundings as I talked.
me: Elidibus come to me, I'm on Etheirys!
then I wanted to ask Linala to get Eli but
Me: Linala ask....
then I woke up
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Nov 15th
I had a dream whereby I was able to find Amanda at a Japanese restaurant at an outdoor convention and we had a chat. I asked what kind of meditations you do XD. And game things trying not to spoil anything. In the end, I wanted to let you know that you are probably from the same planet as I am, but I need to verify that more.
So I started "so I asked my guides......"
But I woke up.